It’s been a while since we talked…

A lot has happened since I updated my blog at the start of July.  I was really pretty down at that time.  My blood counts were through the floor and I'd just had such a great week – I really did think "Hey, this chemo is a breeze. Nothing is going to happen to me!" and then BANG…I woke up one morning with a bit of a temperature and hundreds of tiny red bruises all over my legs!  Basically I could have picked up some infection AND my platelets in my blood had fallen so much that my blood wasn't clotting and I was getting these tiny red bruises!  I spent four or five days in hospital where my blood counts were upped by transfusions of platelets and blood.  I really struggled in hospital, my mouth was sore and I really didn't want to eat anything.  I have more tablets to take than a bus full of pensioners on an outing and I've lost so much weight that I officially have no bum!

I was discharged after a few days and had to go into the day clinic every day.  We were still staying at Charlie's Mum's House – all six of us.  The boys were sharing a room with Charlie and me – I was waking up every time the night feeds were being done and I was getting more and more tired.  I was home for three days when I discovered a irritation round my neck – which over a 24 hour period slow crept down my body to make me look like I had all over nappy rash!  Charlie took me into the clinic again (on the 12th – I think) and I was admitted again.  My counts were low (my platelets) and I had taken an allergic reaction to one of the many anti-biotics I was taking to fight infection.  I took a funny turn after receiving a bag of platelets in clinic on the 12th – I started shaking uncontrollably – very weird.  I got a shot of Piriton and I was right as rain (apart from being back in hospital – AGAIN!).  My hickman line was taken out because it wasn't working.  The doctors think that it was an infection in my hickman which was putting up my temperature and the same infection was blocking the tubes in the line.  This does mean that I will have to have yet another surgical procedure to fit another hickman…oh what fun!

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Back 2 hospital…but not me!

I've just finished my second course of chemo and I'm waiting for the effects to kick in a bit.  This time the chemo was half the dosage of the first course so I'm praying that the impact will be a bit less as well :-)  I've had my usual in and out of hospital for tests, blood counts and sympathy (bless!) and I'm pretty happy at the moment with the way its going.

Last week we had the team from Reveal magazine round to the house to do some more photographs for a feature their doing on me.  I think it'll be in the magazine in the next couple of weeks.  I was watching TV last night and there was a TV spot for Reveal and I thought…"Wouldn't it be great if I was the bit for the TV ad?"…er…I think it's more likely to be Kylie than me…"Oh Well"

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Turning Slowly Blue?

I'm booked in for my third session of chemo tomorrow.  I freaked out last week when my consultant told me it would be a different chemotherapy agent than the Idarubicin  I've had in my two previous treatments.  My immediate reaction was "I haven't lost my hair, my eyebrows, by eye lashes with Idarubicin – I don't want to lose them with another treatment – and I don't know how else I'll react."

I guess I was a big bit scared of the unknown.  After I found out I was grumpy and quiet (all just hiding the fact that I was a so worried about this change).  I met with the MacMillan nurse (Jeff) on the ward and he let me know that it is normal to change the chemotherapy agent – just like other drugs you can become resistant to an agent so it is better to mix it up a bit!  This did help me relax a bit. 

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Steroids and hair loss ;-(

I am back in hospital again!  My chemo finally kicked in last week.  I felt really weak and my appetite just disappeared.  The solution to the appetite was to give me steroids! Steriods?…Do I really want to look like some kind of Russian womans' Olympian from the mid 80's?  I thought I might blow up and start growing hairs on my chin!  But I got a few injections and…wow…I felt like I could eat for Scotland…toast, cheese, noodles always hungry!  Problem one was kind of solved…

…and then I lost my sense of taste (which was a bit of blow since I'd really been enjoying my grub!)  Wednesday last week I started to feel really low and very tired.  I just couldn't do anything without gasping for air or feeling like I needed to lie down.  Charlie was in Glasgow on Thursday for a teacher meeting and didn't get back until about 11pm.  By this time, my temperature had rocketed, I'd picked up a tummy bug which made my insides churn and my mouth was really sore with mucusitis.  What a welcome home :-)  After, another hour of being unable to get off the toilet or get to sleep because of my temperature/mouth,  Charlie called the ward and I was admitted at about 2am in the morning.

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Thank you :-)

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Let's hear it for the power of prayer.  I just want to post a small update to let you know that I got home on midnight Friday, just in time for my birthday!  I would have been home sooner but I had (another) allergic reaction to one of the antibiotics I was getting.  This time I turned red!  What next green with purple spots?

On my birthday I decided to completely shave my head.  I had little wispy bits of hair here and there, it was a bit of mess really.  Now I look like "Locke" from  "Lost" on Channel 4.  Have you been watching it…I think its fantastic and it the only T.V. that Charlie and I will sit down to watch (with our hectic lives!!).  In fact, we liked it so much we've got the DVDs from America and we're about five episodes ahead of Channel 4 now!  My birthday was a low-key affair but I did have a cake which the girls have pretty much demolished.

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And then there was one…

I'm rubbish…at updating my blog that it.  I just find that time disappears into this bottomless cavern that is my wonderful family.  I always think "Right, got to update the blog at least once a week…." and here I am almost a month since the last post!  I do have some good reasons (which I wouldn't change for the world!) 🙂

This is a bit of a momentous week for me! Tomorrow I have my last chemotherapy session.  I've had thirteen doses of chemo and tomorrow is my fourteenth and final one.  It's been 9 months and 9 days since I was diagnosed, a total of 282 days and now I'm approaching the end of my hospital treatment…I am a little scared.

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Stout and other things!

What a night I had at the Evening Express Champions awards bash.  Charlie surprised me with a brilliant PINK limo to take us to the exhibition centre and there was a bottle of champagne to boot!  We had a fantastic meal and I got to meet Cameron Stout!  (see pic).  I didn't win but then I never expected to – it was just a great night out!  I've been non-stop ever since (nothing to do with Cameron though :-).

I have now officially finished my chemo and next week I will have my hickman line removed….yeeehaaaa!  I've had this tube in my chest for ages and it has been a real pain lately.  The boys keep grabbing it and I have to flush it with fluid each night.  And it just keeps getting in the way.  I am soooo pleased that it is going.  My last set of bone marrow results are back and I am still in remission which is another boost.

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Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

Hello! I've now (almost officially) been writing this blog for a year – a whole year! And what a year it has been.  When I look back on all of it I'm a bit lost for words, a bit lost overall.  It really has been a rollercoaster!  I remember feeling absolutely rotten a Christmas last year: tired, sick and exhausted at the slightest thing…and I just thought it was because I was pregnant!


Christmas this year will be such a special event.  We are absolutely ready! Santa has been informed of all requirements and I believe he has even had to import one item from the USA (via eBay) because it was sold out in the UK!  But before I go on (and on!) about Christmas, I'll give you an update on life in the Love household.

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Hi, since it's the boys birthday today I'm planning up update the blog and add some new pictures…at least I was until Rohan (and Charlie) took ill overnight.  I'm just taking Rohan to the hospital to have him checked out but I hope to back later tonight (with him as well).  He has a fever, sickness and hasn't eaten very much.

Charlie's tougue has swollen up and his throat is really sore (and he has shivers!).  Great way to start the boys birthday…who said it was never easy!  Anyway…watch Reporting Scotland tonight (6.30pm) for my 15 minutes of fame (recorded yesterday) and check out the BBC web site here.

Vanessa, Charlie, Blake and Rohan

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