Countdown has begun :-(

Vanessa and Blake

I went to see my consultant last Thursday at the Haematology clinic and my leukaemia continues to be in remission.  I have a date for my chemotherapy; well I actually have a date to go into hospital for my chemo to start.  It's the nineteenth of June – a Sunday.  I'll get booked into the ward on that day, on the Monday I'll have a minor operation to fit a Hickman line.  It is a tube that is used to give chemotherapy.  The Hickman line is one type of 'long line' or 'central line'.  This one will be in my chest rather than the one which I had after by bowel surgery which was in my neck.  Once I've had a general aesthetic, I'm operated on under x-rays so that the surgeon can see the major blood vessels in my chest and fit the line to one of them.  Once fitted the end of a Hickman line hangs out of the chest and is usually sealed off with a cap.  Cool eh?  I'll look very fetching with my supa-tube.  I wonder if I can put Megan's glitter tape round it to make if funky!

I don't know how soon after I'm fitted with my line that the chemo will start.  I've been told that I will lose all my hair so I've arranged for Charlie's cousin, Fay, to shave my head on the Saturday before I go in.  Charlie is adamant that he's going to get her to shave his too 🙂 I've told him to get his own hats!

To say that I'm a little scared by the finite inevitability of it all now is an understatement.  I've always known that I would have chemotherapy but it was to be after the ATRA and after the boys were born.  It always seemed such a long way off and, well, I kind of didn't think about it.  It was a tomorrow thing and not a now thing.  I'm just so worried about my girls.  Amber and Megan mean so much to me and I've really missed doing all the

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